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The urge to say yes, to please everyone around you can be overwhelming. It is not just a matter of being a nice person . It can be rooted in your desire to maintain your self-image, the product of chronically low self esteem. It may even be the result of situations in which you feel you will gain from constantly saying yes. But the truth in life is that knowing when to say No when you usually say Yes is one of the most fundamentally important things you can do for yourself and for your relationships. Forcing others to respect you regardless of your positions and to establish a clear and comfortable persona for yourself rely on this ability. This book walks everyone who has ever felt uncomfortable denying something to others through the process of recognizing how you truly feel and tapping into your inner self so that you can relay to others how you truly feel, saying no when necessary and yes only when you truly agree or are willing to do something. You will learn everything you need to know to recognize what it is about your personality that creates a need to say yes. From understanding what it is you want to get out of other people to accepting that you do not need their validation, you will learn how to separate your insecurities from what you really think so that you can start telling people how you truly feel. Learn how to set priorities and therefore know when it is okay to say yes. By understanding the proper time to say yes, you will quickly learn how to tell the times when it is not okay and you must say no. In various interviews with parents, educators, psychologists, and every day citizens, this book provides a complete world view that helps any individual understand what it is about their personality that causes them to consistently say yes when they should not. You will ultimately learn what it means to give in and what the psychological results are of making these decisions repeatedly. For anyone who has ever found themselves unhappy due to constant willingness to sacrifice their own happiness, this book is for you.
- Sales Rank: #289487 in Books
- Published on: 2011-09-30
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.90" h x .90" w x 5.90" l, .70 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 288 pages
About the Author
Born in Michigan to Cuban parents, Maritza has been able to experience a rich and well-rounded life, being able to enjoy both the American culture and the Cuban culture. Maritza started working with the local government at the age of 16 and continued working there through college and beyond. During her employment, she moved up through the ranks from part-time secretary to becoming the Foreign Trade Zone manager. With more than 25 years of experience in the business sector, both private and public, Maritza is able to provide practical insight into the many situations in which one must learn to say No when you would otherwise say Yes. She is able to provide insight from the boss s point of view, as well as from the employee s side. As a St. Leo University magna cum laude graduate, Manresa holds a bachelor s degree in business administration and is currently working on her master s degree in theology. Leaving behind 20 years of employment in the public sector, Maritza currently owns and manages a business with her husband, Manny. Maritza has two children: Wesley, who is currently attending the University of Florida, and Monica, who is in middle school. Maritza is also a freelance writer, contributing regularly to Factoidz, an online expert advice forum. She has authored two books for Atlantic Publishing Group, How to Open and Operate a Financially Successful Import Export Business and Learning to Say No When You Usually Say Yes."
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
For all those "yes" people out there, this book is for you!
By abates
Learning to Say No! When You Usually Say Yes is a wonderful book for those of us that find the need to say "yes" to most any request by friends, family or a boss.
Chapter 4: "But nobody will like me if I say no" makes very good points on the reasons why people tend to say yes, when they really mean no. The writer, Maritza Manresa, explains that "belonging is one of the top three basic human needs, just above health and safety, according to (Abraham) Maslow's hierarchy of needs." What a poignant perspective to explain why we all want to please people.
Having the ability to say no to friends and family is very important and with the tips and recommendations, I feel that many readers would benefit from the tips in chapter 5 and chapter 6, which deal with saying no to family members and friends.
This book will teach you how to say "no" in many situations in life from the workplace to relationships with close friends, along with how to evaluate relationships and set boundaries to find balance and enable personal happiness. The next step after learning the ability to say "no" is finding ways to become assertive and go after what you want, which also is explained step-by-step in the book.
Manresa offers ways to deal with confrontation and a helpful chart on how to track your progress. This book is perfect to keep on your night stand when stressful situations come up and a quick reread is in order for motivation.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Sometimes You Just Have To Say No
By Carlos Wall
Maritza Manresa's Learning to Say No When You Usually Say Yes is a great guide for those individuals who struggle and have difficulty saying no to other peoples' demands and requests. It is for those who tend to put other peoples' wants and needs before their own.
The author breaks the process of having to say no to different social groups including: family, friends, peers, coworkers, and bosses. She gives the reader tips on how to address each one of these and succeed in doing so. She teaches the reader that learning how to say no, like any other learning skill, takes time, patience, and determination.
The book also dissects why people usually tend to say yes to every request they are asked. Manresa mentions how some people say it because they fear social alienation, others to be liked, some for fear of retaliation (usually in the job place), others because they crave to be victimized, and others simply because of insecurity. No matter the reasons Manresa offers a solution and cites examples on how to respond when facing determined inquiries, shifting the modus operandi of an automatic yes to a strong no, and not fearing in the process.
The book serves as a self-help manual whose main goal is not only teaching the reader how to say no but teaching him/her how to become a more secure assertive person and hence a happier human being.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Be Assertive and Read This Book
By Michael Griffin
Learning to Say No When You Usually Say Yes: Everything You Need To Know Explained Simply aims to show you how to do just that. Maritza Manresa uses her 25 years of business experience to show that saying "Yes" to too many things is unhealthy both mentally and physically. She does this by using examples, real-world case studies and also anonymous case studies where the person is referred to as a "Yesaholic". Manresa goes through situations through all walks of life - dealing with family - parents, spouses and children, work - both on the employer and employee situation, and friends. While much of her advice is on the mark, sometimes it feels like she repeats things or adds more to pad out the book. Also, sometimes her replies that she suggests for some scenarios seem to be on the side of fantasy, but that seems to be the case in a lot of 'self-help" books, since she cannot be expected to know how a person will react in a given scenario 100% of the time. She evidently did a lot of research. It's still a very worthwhile read. Say Yes to this book.
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